Friday, December 24, 2010

So It Has Been Awhile

Awhile since I posted. A longer while since I posted anything inspired. Apologies to any fans still out there still faithfully tapping F5 on your RSS feed. You're the die-hards. Thank you for reading.

Another year, another 365 days to reflect back upon and either decide to feel bad about not getting it just right, or to rewrite the story from a more generous point of view.

Recently I've started to suspect that my task right now is to live Groundhog's Day The Movie. Someone is making me do this until I attain a higher state of consciousness, a greater sense of peace and love and forgiveness towards myself, a more sincere acknowledgment of all that's sacred and treasured inside me.

I'm sort of pissed off about that. Let's get on with it, already. Because
1. Everyone else got the green light to proceed to Feb 3 without having to stop being their shitty selves, and
2. By the time I'm done here I'll be so stunningly amazing and beautiful (on the inside, on the inside) that there won't be anyone left for me to relate to meaningfully. Siighh. Life is rough for those of us on the path to greatness.

A sweet stranger introduced me to the poetry of Hafiz of Shiraz, a 14th century Persian poet. What strikes me most about his writing is not the profound wisdom, but the unbridled ecstasy contained in his lines. Life is all a mind game, so pass me that big turkey tray of gratitude and joy. I've gotten good at tricking myself into thinking I'm not angry, resentful and deeply bitter.

Hafiz says, "I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being."

Tears, friends. Tears.

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