Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Laff of the Day #4

"It really annoys me when someone snores," said my officemate Cindy with an S. "One time my ex-boyfriend was lying on his back snoring next to me, and I was so annoyed about it that I shoved his head to get him to stop."

"Except that I pushed really hard, and his whole head flopped to the side."

"He didn't wake up."

"I thought I had snapped his neck."

"So I got really worried that maybe I had killed him."

"And I started checking his neck for a pulse."

"And I couldn't find one!"

"So I checked his wrists."

"And finally found one."

"I guess I didn't kill my boyfriend after all."

Another story by Cindy with an S

"I love the end pieces on a loaf of bread."

"Yesterday I was at the store buying bread. I was hungry so I opened the bag and ate the end piece, then closed the bag and put the rest in my cart."

"I kept shopping for awhile and forgot about it."

"Then I was going to check out, and I looked down at my cart and realized that my bread had no end piece."

"I was like, that's weird, there's no end piece on this bread. I better go back and get another one."

"So I went back to the bread aisle and put my defective loaf back and got one with an end piece."

"Then I got home and I was like, oh, I ate that end piece!"

How to spell Cindy with an S

"When I'm on the phone with customer service or whatever and they ask for my name, I say Cindy with an S."

"And people are always like, where does the S go?"